Reflecting On Performances: “How Can I Do Better?” Without Feeling Less Than
In the last few years I have had the distinct pleasure of being able to perform in front of live audiences on a pretty regular basis. While I do love performing and being able to share music with others, there is certainly a daunting task I have found myself in as I’ve tried to better myself as a performer and musician: looking back and reflecting on the performances.
Honestly, it’s not my favorite thing to get video or audio recordings back from a performance and listen to myself, but I cannot deny it can be a very helpful tool when it comes to identifying areas that need improvement and figuring out what you need to practice so that the next performance can be even better. The tricky part about this is that when you get recordings back of yourself it can be so easy to mentally put yourself down and focus on only the mistakes that you can see and hear. Not only can this be dismissive of all of the things that you did well, but it also can make you unmotivated to practice if you feel like the whole performance was mistake after mistake.
DISCLAIMER: This is what has worked for me! Everyone obviously will have different things that help them to reflect on their performances and grow, so make sure you are doing what is best for you. Maybe these things give you an idea on something else to include or just something to think about in your post show ritual. Please if something is not working that I mention or is making you feel even worse stop doing it. It does not mean you’re failing at anything, something else may be more helpful for you.
PRE SHOW:
It’s weird to be thinking about performance reflection before the performance has even happened but I encourage you to be active in giving yourself access to all of the information that will help you reflect once the show is done. For me, this means noting how I’m feeling going in, what my pre-show ritual looks like, how I’m feeling (allergies, colds, etc.), and anything else that could impact how I’m feeling onstage while the performance is happening. This can be a mental note or something you quickly put in the notes app of your phone, it doesn’t have to be super detailed.
I also like to either have something/someone recording throughout the night that I know I can get access to relatively quickly after the gig. Sometimes this is a family member or friend in the audience, and sometimes this is someone onstage setting up a recording device that is on during the show.
DURING THE SHOW:
While I’m performing, I try not to overanalyze what I’m hearing onstage (this can be incredibly difficult at times) and more to try to remember how certain songs or moments felt on stage. For me, I have a few songs I adore performing because it gives me a chance to interact with or invite the audience into the moment that is happening onstage, so noting those moments helps me remember the feelings when I’m reflecting back later.
IMMEDIATELY POST-SHOW:
Immediately after a show I want to focus on taking some time to listen to my body and give it what it needs. For me, this is usually getting into clothes that are more comfortable and having a snack or drink. Even if I have to pack up equipment, I try to give myself just 5 minutes to make myself comfortable before I get moving again. During this time, I’m usually talking to other musicians as well and we will be talking through some fun moments from the night, so keeping things upbeat and positive. Sometimes, if there is a moment I want to remember specifically in terms of emotion or maybe audience participation I’ll put it in the notes app on my phone or write it in a notebook for later.
REFLECTIONS:
I like to reflect on performances the following day if possible. I find that this timeline works for me because I still have the feeling and information fresh in my mind but I’m removed enough that I’m not still feeling the energy of the performance itself since I find that energy sometimes can warp my perception when I’m watching/listening to recordings.
At this point, I gather videos or audio recordings of the performance and load them up on one of my devices when I know I’m going to have some time that is mostly uninterrupted. Before I hit play I remind myself that this is a snapshot of the performance, this doesn’t include all of the special moments and emotions that happen with live music, and that this is a tool to help identify areas of improvement.
When I press play I am listening mainly for pitch accuracy, tone, interpretation, and (if it’s a video) stage presence. I reference my notes and memories from the performance where I was maybe uncertain or felt like something I did was “off” (I use this term to describe something that I felt didn’t hit the mark on pitch, tone, interpretation, or stage presence) and see how those moments may have looked from the outside. Obviously each song is its own rollercoaster of moments so though I am looking and noting areas of improvement for the next time I’m also noting the things I did well, or risks I took that paid off. I find this helps me stay balanced and not get so down about the things that I may not have done so well because I also have the things that I did well; and sometimes these two things are merely seconds apart. I take notes of the areas of improvement and what I need to work on or do next time so that I feel more confident in those moments.
After taking these notes and sitting with the performances for a few minutes I’ll make a plan of improvement to put in before the next time I perform. I like to break this into small things or exercises to do (less than 5 minutes) that I can easily slip into repertoire practice or my basic vocal practice routine. I do not generally start these exercises or practice the performance songs the day I make these notes, I find it more helpful for me to sit on the exercises and the notes for a day or two then start back up again.
In some cases, I will pull out my voice recorder during practice if I’m singing a song that I knew was particularly challenging at a performance and see if I can isolate moments for growth in my practice so that I know exactly where to focus.
It has taken me a long time of performing and reflecting to get to a point where I can do something like watch and listen to myself perform with an eye and ear that is not completely ready to tear myself down. There are certainly moments where I can start to fall back into that mindset, and if I’m able to, I try to take a step back and reapproach the reflection at a later date or even a later time where I may be able to look at recordings in a more neutral light. Music at the end of the day is a creative expression and is subjective in so many ways. So, though these tricks and routines work for me, they may not be a fit for you and your journey through music and performing. I share this because I wish I could go back to my younger self some days and tell her that ruminating on wrong notes or missed moments and beating herself up over it isn’t as productive as she thinks it is. I’ve always worked well under pressure but I decided a few years ago that berating myself for humanness especially when playing live music (which is inherently going to be raw and real and imperfect) was not the way that I wanted to push myself to be a better musician. I want to walk away from each performance reflection knowing I did my best on stage, and that because I trust myself in my abilities as a musician, I know I can keep growing and keep getting better and better. It may just take some time, effort, and practice.
Thank you for reading along about my routine of reflecting on performances, and how I use recordings to gain information and insight about how to better myself as a musician and performer without coming away feeling like I didn’t have a performance that had any moments worth celebrating. I hope you’ll stick around on my website for things to come as I work on getting all of my pages up and running! Thank you for being here! The world is better with you in it!
Sarah
